LossofInnocenceKobo Page 4

  Suddenly, I felt the ache in my throbbing quim surge with a most wonderful sensation, previously unknown to me and spread across my entire being. Darkness washed over me, my mind went blank and I was no longer able to control my sounds allowing a high pitched squeal to come from my lips.

  I was trembling on Anton’s lap when he rolled me to the ground. “Do not look at me.” He spoke in a hushed tone.

  I knelt on the ground attempting to regain my sensibilities as I listened to Anton panting and struggling with his clothing. I wanted to look but I obediently stared at the ground as he moaned for a moment then emitted a grunt.

  We remained this way for several minutes when at last I heard Anton moving about.

  He reached down and lifted me by the arm.

  “Make yourself presentable.”

  I pulled up my bloomers and rearranged my skirts. Anton brushed dust from my dress as I stood before him on wobbly legs. I held my head high, though Anton had thoroughly humiliated me. I wanted nothing more than to run straight to Mama and tell her the wedding was off, but I knew I could not. The agreement had already been made and a lot of money that we could not pay back had already been spent.

  Anton put out his arm for me to take and I reluctantly wrapped my hand around him.

  “I cannot wait for you to see the present I got you.” He said cheerfully.

  I could not speak or look at him as we walked back to the house, not only because I was upset at the way he had treated me but because I was ashamed of the way I felt. My buttocks stung and tears ran down my cheeks, but there was also the heat and flutter below. It was undeniable - I had enjoyed his rough handling.

  * * * *

  That evening as I prepared to join Mama and Anton for dinner I struggled to hold my tears at bay.

  Why would Anton treat me in such a manner? That had been my thought for the day.

  I had innocently wanted to see my fiancé upon my return and all I got was his anger at me for finding him hiding in the garden with our servant. I grew sadder as Sara finished brushing my hair. Soon I would be sitting across from Anton and would not be able to allow my emotions to be seen.

  “I hope you do not mind, My Lady, but when I was organizing your parcels I took it upon myself to look at your wedding dress.”

  I looked in the mirror to see Sara’s beaming smile.

  “It is the most beautiful dress I have ever laid eyes on.” She placed a green ribbon the exact shade of my dress in my hair and stood back to admire her work.

  “Thank you Sara.” I said solemnly and stood.

  Sara did not inquire as to why I was so gloomy, but I could see on her face that she looked sympathetic. I found myself wondering whether the servants knew of my spanking in the garden.

  I walked down the hallway slowly. I was in no hurry to be seated across from Anton, forced to be pleasant and look at his smile as we ate dinner. I was not even hungry but I walked into the dining room with a forced smile on my face and held steady as Anton approached me.

  “You look lovely as ever, my dear.” He said and kissed me on the cheek.

  “Thank you.” I spoke quieter than I had intended and Anton looked down at me. I could see he was well aware that I was faking my happiness, but I could not tell whether he cared.

  He walked me to my seat and pushed my chair in before circling around to his seat.

  Mama was going on and on about our shopping in London while Collins poured wine and the footman served our soup.

  Anton kept his eyes on me the entire time. His stare made me want to run away to my room, but I had no choice but, to endure him as he took pleasure at watching me be uneasy.

  After our soup was removed and the main course brought out, I struggled to maintain a conversation with Mama. “Cook has out done herself this evening.”

  Mama nodded her head “Yes. I do hope the cook at your new home will be as talented as Cook is.”

  My heart dropped in my chest and the sting of tears hit me as I realized that when I married Anton I would be leaving Mama. With a shaky hand, I reached for my glass of wine.

  “I can assure you that the cook at Wallace Manor is quite capable.” Anton took a bite of sliced beef and returned his gaze to me as he chewed.

  My head swam in a sea of terror as I pictured myself alone in Wallace Manor with Anton. I scooted small chunks of potato around my plate as I imagined my existence to be a bleak one in my future husband’s home.

  “You will have to come visit us after Lydia is settled in.” Anton winked at Mama. “First she should learn the ropes of running her own household and of being a wife, do you not agree?”

  As usual, Mama quickly agreed with Anton and I could do nothing but sit quietly as they planned my future.

  * * * *

  The next morning as I entered the dining room for breakfast I heard Mama’s excited voice echoing through the house. I turned to see Anton smiling as he sat at the table having tea.

  Mama burst into the room “Oh Anton, I have seen your surprise and I just know Lydia will be delighted!” she grabbed my hands and pulled me through the doors toward the front of the house. I heard Anton following close behind as Mama all but dragged me to the door.

  I had forgotten about the surprise Anton had mentioned yesterday in the garden. My mind consumed with thoughts of what had happened between he and Clara...between us. With such overwhelming emotions and feelings coursing through my mind and body I had not given the idea of a trinket from my fiancé another thought.

  Anton cut ahead of us and stood before the front door blocking Mama before she could yank it open. His face was the handsome face I remembered as a child with a giving, kind and gentle expression, not the sweaty aggressive man I had seen swatting the maid.

  “For Lydia, my lovely bride to be.” He swung open the tall arched door and there stood Juniper.

  Tears welled up in my eyes at the sight of my beloved steed. I pulled away from Mama’s grip and walked past Anton in disbelief “How ever did you find him?” I placed my hand on his neck and slowly made my way to the soft velvety flesh of his nose. Juniper whinnied and shook his head - his beautiful black eye with its lovely long lashes stared back at me. My heart felt it would burst from my chest from all the happiness I felt at that moment.

  “So you are pleased?” Anton stood beside me now.

  I turned to face him a tear flowed down my cheek. I was overwhelmed with love for a man that could be so kind. At the same time, I was frightened by the side of him I had seen in the garden. “Yes, I am pleased.”

  He took my breath away as he pulled me to his chest and held me tightly in his arms. The hand that had spanked my bottom yesterday now gently caressed my back. “I want you to be happy.” He whispered sincerely in my ear then stepped aside, allowing me to take in that Juniper was actually back where he belonged.

  I continued to stroke the muscular steed. His brown coat shimmered in the morning sunlight and I longed to ride him. “May we saddle up?” I looked at Anton hoping he would join me.

  “Of course, but not till after breakfast.” He took me by the crook of my arm “I am starving.”

  I looked back at Juniper before we went inside overjoyed at his presence. I walked with Anton to the dining room and he paused outside the door “Oh, I nearly forgot.” He bent down by the coatrack and picked something up. “You will need this when we go on our little outing.”

  My heart skipped a beat as Anton handed me a new riding crop. Around the end there was a red silk scarf like the one I had seen Clara gagged with as he whipped her in the garden.

  I took it with a trembling hand. Anton smiled and kissed my cheek as he made his way past me to the table. “Come on Lydia, eat. You are going to need your energy.” He winked as he spread his napkin across his lap.

  I shuddered as I thought of what he was implying. He would not. I tried to tell myself, but I knew he would. I caressed the ornate gold handle, admiring the large deep-blue sapphire embedded on the tip. I ran my hand the leng
th of the leather as a chill ran up my spine before I looked up at my fiancé as he devoured his breakfast. Even as he chewed I could see the smirk on his face and the sparkle in his eyes. It was then that I realized I had sold my soul to a devil when I agreed to marry Anton. My mouth went dry and I sipped my tea. My hand trembled as I set the cup down, shockingly not in fear but in anticipation.

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  Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed,

  Bella Carter

  ~About the author~

  Bella Carter is a pseudonym for a writer whose corset laden fantasy world needed an outlet.

  She has found that outlet in the form of steamy romance stories.

  If you enjoy her tales, please leave a review and tell your friends.

  There is plenty of room for everyone in Bella’s world.

  * * * *

  Copyright 2012 by Bella Carter

  All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  Published by Bella Carter

  Cover Design Bella Carter

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

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